Goat Milking

     If you've ever read or watched Curious George you know there's nothing that little tailless monkey can't do. George pretty much knows everything.  Or at least that's what GD thinks. So he was pretty adamant that he didn't need to be taught how to milk a goat; he already knew how because he watched curious George milk a cow    (GD also claims the Berenstain Bears taught him how to ice skate without him ever stepping foot on the ice.). I tried to reason with him. 

      How do you know George knows how to milk a cow correctly?  Does he have extensive dairy farming experience?  Is that the only way to milk something?  Are cows and goats the same? Is George even real? 

Basically it was all met with "but he's George!"  GD has never believed in Santa clause but he is convinced Curious George is real. 

     Eventfully I convinced him to watch a YouTube video of some random hillbillies showing how to milk a goat (side note, I recently taught him how to click on other videos in YouTube and he is utterly amazed at the amount of videos my computer contains. He really has no idea. ). Turns out George didn't really do it right. I don't think George even cleans off the teats or sterilizes the bucket when he milks The Rankins' cow Daisy.   GD was kind of crushed that George's pedestal was taken down a few notches by backwoods YouTubers; I guess to him YouTube is even more omniscient than George. Honestly I did kind of question the reliability of such a video but I figured it was a more accurate goat milking demonstration than a cartoon personified monkey learning to milk a cartoon cow in 12 minutes or less while teaching kids to love STEM.  

     Anyway, the moment the boys had been anxiously waiting for finally came.  Mower was two weeks old and Tractor was ready to be milked. The boys built a stanchion, we gathered up milking supplies, and we headed out to the barn in the rain. 

     The first issue was that the boys forgot to account for Tractor's horns in the stanchion dimensions and we couldn't get her in without taking some of it apart. The second problem was that Mower had been nursing recently and Tractor had no milk to be milked. After GD, G, and I all tried without a drop of milk in the bowl, GE said exasperatedly, "Let me do it."  I kind of expected the two year old to end up being the successful one. He definitely has a way with animals so I wouldn't have been surprised if he had been the one to finally coax some milk out. But he didn't. And Tractor was totally over it. 

     The next evening the boys went out to try again but were again unsuccessful. I decided, having substantial lactating experience myself, that I was going to take control of the situation and get some goat milk. I happened to be wearing KM at the time and , So I milked a goat while baby wearing. It was an interesting experience and probably not the best idea but I did get a little milk out and felt like a real pioneer or super crunchy or...something. And then Tractor stepped in the bowl and got manure in it so the milk was a little crunchy too and we had to dump it. 
    The next night we put KM in the stroller and got just enough for the boys to each have a taste. The verdict from GD was that it tastes like coconut milk but G said we need to work on it tasting less goaty.