Life of the Quarantined: Week 1

This is a look back on our first week of quarantine starting over 3 weeks ago.  The first week wasn't too out-of-the-ordinary for us.  The kids hadn't started getting restless, my husband was still working, and it was homeschool and keep-the-kids-alive as usual for us.  With added anxiety,  And with new shutdowns and restrictions daily.

Quarantine Day 1:
I spent the day naively believing that nothing more would be shut down and this all would only last 2 weeks.
My husband went out to get groceries and discovered the run on everything, especially toilet paper.

Quarantine Day 2:
I heard that the libraries might be closing down and took my kids out to the what was probably the last story time in the state, where my daughter wiped her snot all over the library table and I freaked out sanitizing it because I was sure people would think I was purposely spreading COVID-19.  I had my oldest get 2-3 weeks of reading material at the library so we were stocked until they opened again.
My daughter's runny nose developed into a cough and then a fever later in the day.  Of course she doesn't have it.  My sister had told me that kids medicines were becoming scarce at stores in the city and weren't available to order from Target or Amazon.  Walmarts announced they were shortening their hours.  If all 4 get sick there's no way we have enough meds.  I freaked out and went out at 11 PM to stock up on meds while they're still available and get some of the last acetaminophen in-stock.  They didn't have the yellow-dye-free stuff my son needs so we'll have to make due with what we have at home for him.  I also got someone else's snot all over my sleeve from the shelf and thoroughly sanitized myself.  I picked up a few other things, completely forgetting to see if we need diapers (we did).

Quarantine Day 3:
No church.  Tried to get used to having nowhere to go.
My second oldest son developed a runny nose, cough, and a fever.  What is going on?  My kids never get coughs.  Do they have it?????
I realized we'll need diapers.  I was sure Walmart will be out because they were out of everything else.  Amazon was out.  Fortunately, we found a bunch leftover from my daughter in the loft.  They should last until I can get my order from Target.

Quarantine Days 4 and 5:
We started what we thought we be an almost-normal be a normal week for us, with the exception of not having any evening activities and my husband driving all over the tri-county area looking for toilet paper and diapers.
My oldest was pretty anxious about the whole thing so we had some talks about it.  He also developed cough.  What?!  He never gets sick!  
I found out my diaper shipment won't be coming for over a week later than planned.

Quarantine Day 6:
KMs quarantined birthday.  Not a huge deal for a toddler, but we had to tell the kids we won't be able to go to the bounce house like we usually do for birthdays.
Kids were all better except for running noses.  Did they have it?

(Sidenote: I talked to my pediatrician sister later about their sickness and she said it was very unlikely they had coronavirus.)


Quarantine Day 7:
We got this social distancing thing down.  (And I realized I should start making sure to take pictures to document this hopefully once-in-a-lifetime experience.)

My husband does the opposite of social distancing, traveling to 5 stores in 2 counties to finally find toilet paper and diapers.  We are good on both for several weeks.

Quarantine

Quarantine.

That's something they did like a hundred years ago right?  That's only in those public health books I used to like to read right? We're way too advanced a society to ever need to quarantine.

Welcome to 2020, people.

I keep telling my children this is what they're going to tell their children and grandchildren about.  This is their "walk to school 6 miles uphill both ways in a blizzard with only rock to eat for lunch" story.

This is momentous history.

So I felt I should document some of it.  So, first, let's start with a day-by-day play-by play.  This will be kind of an outline that I will expland on later.

(Also, please don't judge my lack of news knowledge for the past 3 months.  My mom used to say she didn't know what happened in the world in the 80s because that's when she was raising babies.  I didn't doubt her, but I totally get that now.  Plus, we don't watch TV and I don't usually read news because it's all so biased.)

-sometime in January -
My husband, knowing that I have been in hormone fog for months, told me, "I don't know if you've heard about this but there's a really bad virus in China."  It will never effect us.  That's China, this is America.  And I wentback to snuggling my baby.

-a few days later -
My husband told my seven-year-old son about something he read about a hospital in China being constructed in some short amount of time.  I tried to act like I know something about it, but really I had been to foggy to think about looking up the virus in China, even though that's the kind of thing that interests me.

-a Sunday in January -
My seven-year-old reported in Sunday School the kids were talking about a country they won't let you leave.  I laughed because I remember kids saying stuff like that about China at that age.  And then my husband said that it's true about China right now.  Oh, yeah, I should probably look that up.

-all through February -
I went about my life thinking that the mysterious virus from China is keeping itself and it's problems over there.  I usually don't read much news because I'm skeptical that anyone is telling the truth.  I heard a few things about coronavirus being on cruise ships and around the world, but didn't think much of it.  Looking back, I wish I had kept up on it all, but I was still so foggy and focused on raising and educating my kids I didn't think much of it.

- March 8-ish
My husband mentioned that high school basketball state championships will be played without an audience due to coronavirus.  Huh?  Really?  

-early March -
My sister mentioned she's working from home in a trial to make sure it will work in case they all have to for COVID-19.  I was so confused about it.  That's kind of drastic isn't it?

-March 12 -
I heard the term "social distancing" for the first time.

-March 13 -
My sister texted me and says, "I don't know if you've been following the coronavirus stuff but they'll probably close schools for the next 2 weeks and I'll be working from home.  They've canceled all after school activities until the end of March." Seriously?
And that's when I finally woke up and started following all of this and reading everything I could on it.

At first I didn't think it would effect us much, after all we homeschool and are home most of the day. 

-March 14 -
All schools in Ohio closed for 3 weeks.  Gatherings were limited.  Soccer was canceled.  Story times were canceled.
My husband tried to get groceries while everyone is out panic-buying.
We tried to explain all this to our kids without getting my anxiety-prone seven-year-old too worried.

-March 13 -
Church is canceled and would be online.  My son's church club was canceled.  Soccer season was postponed until after April 15.
We tell the kids in what will become a daily disappointment update.

-March 14 -
We went to what was probably the last story time in the state for a while.

-March 15 -
Restaurants are closed to dining in.  Not a huge deal, my kids can't eat at restaurants anyway.  But things were getting scary.

-March 16 -
More things were closed.  Voting the next day is canceled, then not canceled, then canceled again.

-March 17 -
Even more things were closed.  We heard my the major automobile manufacturer my husband's factory supplies would not be running production the next week.

-March 19 -
We started looking at the possibility of the state "locking down" and my husband not working for awhile.

-March 21 -
We squeezed in a small (<10 persons) birthday gathering the day before the state orders a lockdown.

-March 22 -
No church again.
State ordered a lockdown.  My husband is considered non-essential and would not be working for at least 2 weeks.
People panic-buy everything from stores again.

-March 23 -
My husband fortunately was able to find milk.  He came home from work early and would be home the next 2 weeks.


And now we settle in for the long haul of not going anywhere, not knowing when we'll be allowed to go anywhere.  I've been compulsively reading everything I can and over-analyzing stats, discussing everything with my sister and my best friend who lives several states away, alternating between terrified it will come to my family and convinced it's all a conspiracy theory and every thought in between.

Next time I'll tell about how my kids are keeping themselves busy.

A Coherent Thought

I had a coherent thought the other day.
I don’t even remember what it was because I was so shocked by it and then it flitted away almost as quickly as it came.

After a year and a half of grief, anxiety, a whole bunch of hormones, and about 15 months almost straight of being pregnant and I don’t even remember what it’s like to think clearly. But I’m ready to start working on getting back to a resemblance of my old self.

I’ve been told several times by well-meaning people that “these things happen for a reason.”  I have a whole list of thoughts on that I’ll save for a different time and place but I’ve come to realize that I need to make this “reason” happen. I’m not quite sure what that looks like yet but I have an idea.

I’m hoping to get back to writing more again.  I’ve found it so hard to write the past year and half, not wanting to share how I was feeling but also feeling like it was wrong to post something light-hearted.  

I want to start to share some deeper thoughts (if I’m ever brave enough to put myself out there that much) but want to keep this a fun place to share about my kids’ antics, so to see a different side of my life see:  www.sunflowersandmorningglories.blogspot.com

I'm considering starting to post our adventures on instagram (coming way late to that party I know) but we'll see.  I don't like posting many pictures of my kids.

To see the slowest work-in-progress of a food intolerance blog ever see: mspichef.home.blog

Summer

    "I'm me...but I'm not.  I'm different.  I'm broken.  I've always been somewhat of a happy soul - a glass half-full kind of person.  But I feel like my glass was knocked over, and shattered into a million pieces.  But the truth is, my life is still good.  The blessing are still pouring... but pouring onto the floor.  It's not that I don't want to pick up the pieces and put my glass back together... it's just that I don't know how to right now.  And I guess, for now... that's ok.  It will have to be"  Colleen Hull


     I keep promising myself I'll get back to being my old self as soon as...
     But I don't know if I'll ever be back to normal.
     Maybe by next week?  Or maybe at least halfway back to normal?

     It's like someone shut off all the lights out this winter.  Matches and lanterns have been lit along the way, but this summer has be hard.  For a long time we have hoped and planned to have another baby here by now, but July 10 came and went with our arms still empty and August 16 will too.
      Being pregnant again is supposed to fix those feelings, but it doesn't.  It just adds to the anxiety that December 24 will just be one more empty due date.  It's a complicated feeling with too many hormones mixed together over the past 10 months to comprehend much of anything.

    Life is supposed to move on.  And it has.  And the rest of life is good.  The kids are happy, content, active, and doing great.  Life is busy but nothing out of the ordinary.

     When I started writing this I thought I would have more to say about this summer.  I didn't want to write this to just be miserable, I don't like being like that.  I was kind of hoping to transition both literally and figuratively from my rawness to blessings.  I don't want this blog, or anything about me, to be a place of mourning or sadness.  I don't believe in sharing the negative stuff in life online.  But that's all I've had to write the past several months.  And I want to move on from that.  To be lighthearted again and write about our life from a humorous perspective.  I hope, and I'll try, to get back to that soon.

In the meantime, here is the newest blessing I hope to reassemble my broken glass for...

Baby Boy GL, Christmas Gift 2019

Life Isn't Always Happy

Did you notice all those cutesy Valentine Facebook pregnancy announcements for babies due in July and August this past week?  I sure did.  We were supposed to be one of those.  We were supposed to have a baby in July.  We were supposed to have a baby in August. 

One of my professors in college was going through a miscarriage.  She told the room of young nursing students with tears in her eyes, "If anyone ever tells you that they had a miscarriage, you just give them a hug and tell them that that really sucks."  Those words have stuck always in my mind.

Normally I wouldn't throw around the word "sucks." But miscarriage sucks.  And two miscarriages in two and half months really sucks.  And that's where life is right now.

And that's all I have to say about that.

"Learning Experiences" of 2018: Part 3: Dogs, MSPI, and Fires

2018 is officially over and I'm not too sad to see it go.  I've said before it wasn't the best year for us for many reasons.  I've already written about a couple failures of 2018, and I was going to write separate posts for all of these, but let's just get over them and move on.
2018 was a year of life lessons and here are a few more things that we learned this year:

1.  Dogs have more legal rights than humans.
We have had a terrible time with neighbor dogs ever since we moved in.  This summer it culminated in us fearing for our lives whenever we ventured down the driveway.  Our very aggressive neighbor dog would charge at us, even breaking through his invisible fence, while we stood frozen in fear.  The kids and I regularly got trapped at the end of the driveway, (a quarter mile from our house), trying to inch our way home .  Meanwhile, we've had trouble for years with another neighbor's dogs coming over and terrorizing our chickens and scaring our children, which continues to happen (we don't have reason to believe that these dogs would harm people, but they're scary anyway).  Then, this fall I got bit twice by another neighbor's dog while out for a run (we didn't even let the kids know about that because they are already so terrified of dogs).  We have called the dog warden countless times and all he can do is talk to the owners.  We've talked to the neighbors, but they don't care.  We've threatened to shoot the dogs and we have shot at the dogs.  We considered getting a lawyer, but the most that could possibly happen if we could prove to a court that the dog was on our property was the neighbor's would get a small fine.  If we shoot a dog that is not, at the moment we shoot it, menacing people or livestock, the law sides with the dog.  Even if we take the dog to the shelter, we could be charged with abducting the dog.  The neighbors of the very aggressive dog have told us several times he wouldn't be a problem anymore, and even have told us that they had him put down, only to have us be surprised by the dog coming at us again a few days later.  This fall it was bad enough I was very seriously considering moving.  The whole situation has left us all with a lot of unease and anxiety. 

2.  Dairy and soy (and dyes and preservatives) are in EVERYTHING.
My 1-year-old daughter is extremely intolerant of all dairy and soy (Milk and Soy Protein Intolerant = MSPI), including soybean oil and soy lecithan (in which the soy proteins are so broken down the FDA doesn't even consider those a soy allergen on food labels).  This includes soy and dairy passed through breastmilk.  I have been soy- and dairy-free for 21 months now, which has been tolerable.  However, trying to feed an MSPI toddler is a challenge.  In addition, my second son is sensitive to yellow dye and TBHQ.  This all had me pretty down for awhile this year, as it is difficult for our family to eat anywhere, and we have to make a lot of our food from scratch.  Most restaurants use soybean oil in all their foods, and yellow dye is hidden in everything in restaurants.  Most common toddler foods have soy and dairy, so we've had to get creative and do some searching to feed my daughter.  On the positive side of things though, this has been a great learning experience for the family.  My husband and I have learned how to cook and bake soy- and dairy- free, and I honestly don't even miss it anymore (except I would really like be able to eat at Olive Garden and Coldstone).  We have researched substitutions and come up with our own and scoured the internet and grocery store shelves for "safe" food.  We have found restaurants that we can eat some things at.  My boys are very watchful of their sister when there's food around.  And my son, just three-years-old, is so good and accepting about watching what he eats and asking "Is this safe for me?" if something is new.  He remembers how the dye and preservatives make him feel and his is so willing to avoid foods that will make him sick.  All the dietary changes has made the whole family much healthier and conscious about what we eat.  My daughter is still very reactive to soy and dairy and, although most children grow out of this intolerance, her pediatrician is not sure she ever will, and if she does it won't be anytime soon.  I'm hoping to turn our experiences and what we've learned into a blog to help other families make food elimination, but that is currently just in the starting phase.

3.  House fires can happen to anyone.
This one is the biggie.
If this didn't happen, I don't think I would have such a negative attitude about 2018.  I probably wouldn't have even thought of this other stuff in a negative light.  But August 26, 2018, was kind of the deal-breaker.   Ever since then I've kind of been on "What's going to happen next?" watch.
I will probably write out the whole story in the future, as it was such a significant event, but it's still fermenting and, even though it was several months ago, I'm slightly embarrassed to say I'm still dealing with it. 
Very early in the morning on that day, we were awoken by a storm, followed by the fire alarm.  What transpired over the next hour was the most terrifying experience in any of our lives.  And although no one was physically injured and there was barely any damage to speak of, the situation surrounding the event was pretty traumatic (i.e., sitting out in the car in driveway been pounded by a raging storm with two crying toddlers and a very terrified, yet stoic, 6 year old waiting for our house to blow up with my husband in it).  We now have 14 fire extinguishers in our house, along with a two-story escape ladder in each bedroom, a fire plan, and anxiety that will haunt us for the rest of our lives. 


Well, on that happy note.....

Let's welcome in 2019!  I know it will be better (and I'll write about the good stuff of 2018 soon too).

"Learning Experiences" of 2018: Part 2: The Chickens

    We are chicken people.  We just love our chickens.  We really don't care about the eggs, the chickens are our pets.

    There's one thing we've learned over the past 3.5 years of raising chickens, and that is they make lousy pets.  Especially for sensitive young children.  Never choose an animal at the bottom of the food chain as a pet.  Especially one as unintelligent as a chicken.

      At the beginning of 2018 we had 6 chickens.  I received 7 chicks for my birthday and G also brought home 3 Silkies this spring.

     One of the chickens wandered off in April.  I'm assuming she got snatched while the chickens were free-ranging.

    My birthday chicks, which I have written about before, were very loved by the kids who each had their own special chicken.  We kept very good care of them and were very protective of them after the previous chicken massacres of 2017.

(This next part is really sad, grab a box of tissues.)

     GE had a very special chick named Green Layer Like Gecko Is Green.  He held and fed Green Layer every day.  He made sure Green Layer got special grass to eat.  He watched Green Layer the entire time she was outside and always locked her up tight.  He would talk about how he couldn't wait to go out and get her green eggs every day when she started laying.  He was so excited for his special green eggs.

     One night, despite the coop being shut up tight, a raccoon pulled a board off the coop and killed three chicks, including GE's Green Layer.

    When he found out, he cried out, "Not my Green Layer!  I need my Green Layer!"

    GE is a very compassionate, sensitive little boy.  He mourned deeply for the next several days.  He wouldn't eat.  He would just lay on the floor and sometimes fall asleep in the middle of the day.  It was so sad.

     G searched and searched for a replacement for this special breed of chicken.  G can find anything on Craigslist and came home one day with not one replacement, but five.  GE loves these Green Layers and he came out of his mourning period, but he has not been able to bring himself to get too close to these new chicks, which is sad considering how attached my boys used to get to the chicks.

     At first GE named all the chicks "Green Layer."  Finally he started to differentiate them.  We now have Green Layer the New Real Green Layer, Green Layer Like Tractors Are Green, Santa (formerly known as Fluffy), and he gave two of the chicks to his siblings and GD named his Turbo and KM named hers Flower.

     The other two chicks that were killed in that incident were my special chick Sunshine and one of the Silkies Josephine.  Henrietta was also chicken-napped but managed to wander back later that day.

      KM became very attached to Henrietta after that but a few weeks later Henrietta disappeared while free-ranging.  We couldn't keep her in either of the coops because she was getting picked on.  We later have concluded that the 3 Silkies were blind.  None of them survived the summer.

     Meanwhile, we tried putting the birthday chicks in with the big chickens and my Buff Orpington Watermelon, the one chicken I had specifically requested that I had plans to let become a mother, was killed by way of fear of the head chicken Blaze.

      So, now our chickens no longer free-range, our children no longer forge strong attachments to our livestock, we lock the Green Layers in the workshop every night, and emotionally no one is up to raising chicks next year.

     Also, if you're ever talking to one of the kids about the chickens, they think that Henrietta wandered off to find her sister Josephine and they are living a happy life together somewhere and we never mentioned Watermelon and let the memory of that chicken fade away.


(I really wish I could have made this post more enjoyable to read or funny or something, but really we're pretty bummed about our chickens and I felt like there needed to be some closure on the original Green Layer.)