Adventures in Dairy Goat Farming: It's Not You It's Us...But Mostly It's You

    In every endeavor there comes a time when you need to step back and assess what's working and what's not; what is worthwhile, and what is driving you bonkers leaving manure all over your yard and destroying your landscaping.  G and I recently conducted one such assessment of our farmstead (which we not-so-fondly have been referring to as Freeloader Farms) and decided it was time to move on from attempting to turn non-dairy goats into dairy goats with no prior goat farming experience.  Though the small herd had it's endearing characteristics, it was getting expensive to feed glorified pets that continuously wreaked havoc on our property.  The free-ranging baby goats had been fun for awhile. We had enjoyed the companionship and found amusement in the FedEx guys' reactions to them.  But at some point the manure on the patio, the trampled shrubbery, and the inability to grow a garden without fear it will be grazed into oblivion began to outweigh the fun. There is a reason, actually several reasons, it's not common practice to have free-ranging pet goats, and while I liked the quirkiness of miniature goats running around, this is just not the time in our lives to have manure all over our yard and driveway. Especially with two boys that crave neatness and order and a baby girl that puts everything in her mouth. 

       The original plan had never been to keep all the goats. After we lost so much livestock last winter we had decided that keeping all of them was cheaper than therapy for the boys. But that was when we thought the goats would eventually be too big to squeeze through the slots in the fence and GD was sure he could train then to be riding and cuddling goats. At almost full-grown they were still able to contort themselves through the spacing in the fence and graze in our yard at will.  While at one point the boys would have been devastated to say goodbye to their farm goats, they too were ready to move on.  GE can find the positive in any situation and declared, "Well, when we're ready for more goats, we just get some at Walmart. And I LOOOOVE the piggies, because we're going to EAT THEM!"  I thought GD would have a harder time with it but he has been silently beating himself up inside that he wasn't a good enough goat farmer to train them for bareback riding. And the manure everywhere and the inefficiency of free-loader livestock was getting to him too. 

         Last Saturday G listed them on Craiglist. We hoped to get some cash for them, but we were prepared to give them away for free; after all, giving them away free is more cost-effective than feeding them. Right away people were interested. 

      On Sunday afternoon, Farmer and her daughter Bushhog were taken by a very nice lady to a wonderful new life on a goat breeding farm. Farmer even had a boyfriend waiting for her. They were going to live with other goats, sheep, alpacas, and even some emu. They were even covered with a blanket for the ride to their new home.  We felt really good about the transaction. I think they will have a happier life than what we would give them, and we felt good that we had raised desirable goats for breeding. 

     On Wednesday another lady came for Tractor and her daughter Mower. While she was meeting them, Weedwacker, our only boy, charmed his way into her heart and she ended up driving away with all three. On some cardboard in the back of her minivan. Because "a few goat nuggets never hurt anyone."  They were going to get to be free-ranging goats again at their new farm; obviously the goat manure all over is not an issue for their new owner. 

         I miss the goats a little, but I think we're all a little relieved. It lessens the farm chores and takes the pressure off to make them worthwhile.  And GD did get to feel like a real goat farmer selling the goats he raised. Even he says he doesn't miss them.  We felt they all went to better places more suited for them. 

        This is not the end of our goat farming journey. In the future, when the kids are older and we know more what we're doing, we would like to try real dairy breeds. And G was so encouraged by the money we made selling the goats he's started talking about breeding them (this is not an idea I am encouraging). Mostly though, all three boys want to take the money we got from the goats and the space we have in the barn and get some different livestock. So far, we are going to try to fit turkeys, baby piggies, broiler chickens, an alpaca, a calf, and maybe a Pygora goat in the space vacated by the goats. 

        I'm sure G will show up with something someday soon, but for now I'm just enjoying my clean patio. 

         

Monsters

      GE was very reluctant to give his crib up to his baby sister.  It was a several-week-long process to adjust him from crib life to sleeping in a big-boy bed.  Even though he had been able to climb in and out of the crib by himself, and did it freely whenever he and GD played garbage truck in the crib, he refused to climb out of it by himself in the morning and after nap.  Which was fine with me, at least he was contained.  But even after he moved permanently to his twin bed this summer he was still unable to get himself up in the morning. We didn't think much of it at first. After all, this is the child that regularly pretends to be stuck on the floor and then becomes convinced that he actually is stuck and starts screaming for help. Finally one morning it all made sense. 

       He told me that a monster came in his room every morning and woke him up. I asked him what the monster looked like and he thought a second and said. "It's purple.  It's KM's color!  It must be KM's monster!"  And ever since then he's gotten out of bed himself in the morning. 

      You see GE is a little more imaginative and not nearly as skeptical as GD. GE has seen Monsters Inc, where each child is specially matched to their monster in order to produce the most energy from screams.  We also had a book out of the library where monsters are trying out to see which monster fit a little kid the best to get the kid to sleep at night because each kid needs their own monster. GE is thoroughly convinced that each child has their own monster or monsters specifically selected for optimum scaring. 

     He was talking to GD one day soon after he started getting out of bed himself and asked him, "Do you have a monster?  I don't. Just KM's. It wakes me up in the morning."  So evidently when he realized the monster belonged to KM, he decided he shouldn't be afraid of it then. 

(It just occurred to me that maybe this purple monster wakes up GE in the morning instead of bothering KM because it is confused as to why KM has yet to move out of our room.)

     However. A few weeks later an orange monster moved in under his bed.  Because this monster belongs to him--it has to if it's orange--GE is terrified of it. It has not caused too many problems, just occasionally waking him up during the night. It was quite active the night we let him watch Rudolph, menacing around the room with the Abominable Snow Monster. GE was awake until 1AM that night. (I declared no more monster movies after that. And then proceeded to let them watch A Muppet Family Christmas, telling him "There are no monsters in this...well, actually it's mostly monsters..."  Muppet monsters do not seem to be a problem though).

     GE is doing better about the monsters now.  Recently, this orange monster has brought his buddies along, who are also orange.  But we have figured out how to handle them now. If there are any monsters causing problems at bedtime they are swiftly vanquished by Daddy throwing them over the balcony or Big Brother GD pelletting them with Nerf bullets.